The Realised Relationship between Hope and Expectations
There are always things in life that we look forward to. Things which we know will happen, and then those which we can only hope will happen. Either way, the things that we know and the things that we hope all fit under the general broad spectrum of “expectation”. The spectrum ranges from “undeniably certain” down to the narrowly flimsy “perhaps maybe might”, where the percentage of that event happening is so small that the percentage is too depressing to mention. What is interesting, however, is how that percentage possibility of something happening, no matter what the original likelihood of it, can adjust itself according to our actions.
For instance, I woke up this morning looking forward to rustling up a hearty breakfast. If I had stayed in bed, it’s more than likely I would not have gotten my breakfast. There is a chance – no matter how slim – that someone would have brought me breakfast. But that was not my original expectation. My expectation was that I would wake up and then make my own breakfast. So, although I have a high percentage of me making myself food, there is an even lower chance of someone making it for me. Thus, my own actions created a difference in where my expectation would lie upon the spectrum of possibilities. This is, of course, ignoring all random possibilities and focusing on those elements of which I have irrevocable control over. Of course there will always be those happenings which can affect any fully-planned totally-organised down-to-the-last-minute day. But even under those circumstances, there will be a choice to make and an action to take which will have a direct consequence on the level of outcome originally expected.
Going back to the point, this simplistic example can be applied to almost any expectation. In fact, it can even be applied to dreams and wishes. No matter how much we may say to ourselves, “it’s only a dream, I know it won’t come true”, there is still the infinitely minute chance that it may. And that chance will remain at the lower end of the possibility spectrum throughout life. Unless, of course, you take action. This action need not be lock-and-load extensive; it can be a small everyday difference in your daily life which you hardly take note of until the fateful day comes where your expectation is realised. This is not to say that small steps are always the answer – sometimes the drastic is exceptionally necessary, and may even need some external influence. Especially for those high reaching, high flying, high expectations of grandeur and fame. It’s true that most things one can do on one’s own. I’m all for being self-sufficient and independent, however there comes a time when one needs to accept that one simply cannot do it on one’s own. Especially for those things where the expectation is low, but the hope is high. This spins the possibility percentage into a constantly inconsistent life-line spike of fluctuations and deviations – irregular enough to give one a heart attack. One way of calming these expectation variations to a small degree (note: Calming and NOT eliminating) is by having a support group. This need not be a bunch of groupies all intent on your winning the Oscars, but more a person close – a confidant who realistically defines the outer environment’s truths in a non-biased manner so as to offer you the clear perspective your hopes have obliterated from your eyes. On the other hand, this individual(s) also needs to be irrevocably on your side; they need to be aligned with your goal and understand your abilities and weaknesses – know what you lack and how to improve. And then they need to hound you. Fight with you. Push you. Coax and coach you. Force you to tears. But, most importantly, they need to remind you of why this hope – this dream – can become an expectation. That it can be realised. That they have faith in you and that their expectation is their own hope in you. In short, the support group must believe in your abilities to take “hope” and convert it into an “expectation” which lies high on the spectrum of possibilities.
And the only way to do that – the only way to change hope into expectation – is to have belief in yourself. And then, to take action.
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WonderWhiteRabbit hopping off
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